Friday, January 22, 2010

How Celebs Have Ruined Our Lives

amber-kanye

Have you ever written a professional letter or e-mail to someone, then had to go back and check that you didn't mistakenly type "shizzle" instead of "sure"? Or maybe once or twice you had to change "fabolous" back to "fabulous"?

Did you run out and get a "Rihanna cut"? Only to find out that every other girl in America got it too? Then Rihanna went and got her style team to totally reinvent it a week later while you are stuck with the same, now outdated, 'do as everyone else?

Did you see that hot outfit that Beyonce had on during her performance, then run out to buy a bejeweled leotard? Did every one in the club laugh at you the night you tried to rock it? Are you now scarred for life?

I know. Celebrities have ruined our lives. Their wacky vocabularies, impossible trends and unreasonable sense of style has left us in compromising positions too often.

Here's a list of the various celeb-isms that have imprinted themselves in our lives and refuse to leave! Together we can fight these terrible celebrity-inspired influences!

1.) The Amber head

Did you go get a buzz to emulate this sexy model's look? Did you then realize that some how you just can't pull off a big bald blond head? Now its going to take a few months to grow it all back! She ruined your life, didn't she?

2.) The Ciara dip

Did you go out and see the Ciara concert? She did that crazy matrix backward bend move didn't she? And then you thought it was hot, and tried to do it when you got home. Right? Now your back is screwed up forever. Life ruined.

3.) Shizzle Fizzle

Your little seven year old son is probably at school right now taking to his friends about the fly honeys in snoop D-O-double-gizzle's video. Your life is ruined.

4.) Fabolous, Deelishis, Soulja Boy

No one remembers how to spell fabulous, delicious or soldier anymore. Thanks a lot guys.

5) The drunken mic burglar

Did you chug a bottle of Hennessey then grab the mic from the pastor at your Uncle Larry's funeral to let every one know that Uncle Jimmy had a better casket? Did you then shrug your shoulders and walk away from the pulpit? Yea. Blame it on Kanye. He ruined your life.

6) The Bey-Jay

Did you scope out the hottest chick in the club and figure "hey, if Jay can get with Bey, I can get with her"? Did that heartless b*&ch shut you down and embarrass you in front of everyone in the club? We know. Total ruination.

7) DOA

Did you buy 10 pairs of skinny jeans? Did you invest money into the stock of the company that owns the autotune technology? Did Jay Z just cause your stock to plummet both fashion-wise and financially?

8) Why, MJ. Why?

Did you sell your house to afford tickets to Michael Jacksons last concert? Are you now both heartbroken and homeless?

9) Lumps and Bumps

Did you run out and buy a full body cat suit thinking that you could rock it out in public? Did you think that that sucker was going to squeeze you together and make you look like Amber or Rihanna? Did you quickly learn that every bump and lady lump was out there for the world to see? Are you embarrassed now?

10) Bubble butt

Did you get some sort of foreign substance or object implanted or injected into your butt when you heard Kanye say "She got an ass that'll swallow up a g-string"? Is it hard for you to balance on your skinny little legs now? SMH.

Celebs and pop culture in general have truly been alarmingly influential. Hopefully in the future we will all be better able to gauge what celeb inspired trends are worth our time.

Pop the gallery to see how celebrities have ruined our lives.

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