Weirdo

I've been meaning to tell you guys about some weird shxt. Whenever i put things out there the universe seems to return wisdom (as do you, voyeurs). So please help me to figure this one out.

I have an ex. I'll call him Merman. Don't ask. We always had a volatile relationship, and always end up hating each other for one reason or another. We were together back in high school, and
reconnected about three years ago for a very short period. Since then i tried to be friends with him...electronically for the most part (damn that facebook), but as i've learned, that shxt never works.

It started off ok. Occasional messages saying hey, whats up, how are you. But for some reason at this point things always get weird. Suddenly i learn that Merman still has feelings. I was already in a new relationship, so i didn't really care about those feelings, since that chapter was closed.


Long story short:
Merman got upset.
My man peeped game and didn't like it.
I tried to maintain a platonic friendship.

Well i reached out to him one day, because i wanted to know about a boat ride party he threw or promoted or whatev, because i was looking for a venue for my baby shower. I never even pursued the issue after i sent the initial message, because i had soon after found another venue.

A little while after all of that went down he left a message on my wall saying "i will always love you," or something weird like that.

And lucky me, my boyfriend was the first to see it. He was surprisingly calm, and asked me to "handle it." You already know that really means "send that fool a message to shut his effin mouth before i do it for him." I humbly obeyed, and sent this:

"The message you left on my wall was very inappropriate. I have a fiance and a son on the way. Please be respectful of that. That is not the kind of comment that you should leave on a platonic friend's wall. I do not want my fiance having any reason to resent or question you. We barely communicate as it is, so I'm sure you understand why it is so bizarre for us to see that message out of the blue. Again, please be respectful of me and my family. They are what matters most to me. The information that i wanted was regarding a venue where you hosted a party. i never contacted you because i no longer wanted the information. Other than that i don't have any reason to contact you outside of facebook. being that this is the only place that i do communicate with you, please limit your comments. I would not disrespect your relationship, don't disrespect mine."


He replied with:

"im sorry, 100% agree with you gabby & congradulations on your engagement & child on the way, im happy for you & i surely dont want to ruin anything positive you got going.thanks for the appropriate way of addressing the issue.once more congradulations"

I thought it was over. We didn't speak AT ALL after that.

Then, months later i get another message from him inviting me to his graduation.

?????

Its not like we had an ongoing friendship at that point. We hadn't communicated at all since the wall post.

I didn't even answer.

Then, last week or something, i hear that he has an old school picture of he and i as his main picture on FB.


?????

How bizarre.

What do you think is going on?

I find it so weird. I have gotten engaged, had a baby, graduated college and much more in the time since we separated. He doesn't acknowledge any of these things (as a friend would), so i can't even write this stuff off as quirky friendship things; we aren't friends. He just does weird shxt.

I love my man, and he knows that. But i hate when this bizarro stuff happens out of the blue, because i know it bothers him. If it were me, i would have already tracked the bxtch down.

Universe? anything? Is this going to continue? What does it mean? WTF?



Exes are the weirdest people on earth. Now that i think about it, all of mine were totally W-E-I-R-D. Let me tell you about them. Perhaps you too have come across these types
Here they are in no particular order.


Earth
I'm referring to this first one as earth. He was a dancer. Yes a male dancer. No he wasn't gay, and still isn't as far as i know. He was totally into earthy zen things. Like incense and weed and dreadlocks (which we unsuccessfully tried to start in his hair....he cut them all off when we broke up though...lol). He wasn't really all that weird of a person, but i still see him as weird because we were totally mismatched. He was like father earth, and i was the total opposite. I went along with the whole hippie thing for a while, but as i came into my own, i realized that it just wasn't for me. I wasn't into smoking weed. I didn't like laying in grass. I just wanted to shop, wear my furs and be a bad bxtch.

We were both young at the time which, i guess, also explains why i got sick of our relationship. He also had a lot of heavy baggage that i was sick of lugging and paying for. Right after him, i got with someone who was the total opposite...


Meat head
Meat head was never really a boyfriend. I guess you could say we dated. He was fine (read as: fooooiiiiine). Tall, dark, muscles. He he was a basketball player. He had money, he was flashy, he wanted me to be kept. But here's the kicker girls. He was dumb as rocks.

Really stupid.

To this day my brother still laughs at him and some of the dumb shxt he would say. For instance, he never said "am I," as in "am i your friend?" Nooooooo. Instead he said "is am," as in "Is am yo frien." And when he got upset he would tell me that i was causing "move swings in his body".

WTF?

For all the shxt talkin i do, i happen to be kinda bright.

I just couldn't do it.

Plus, my parents didn't like him. He would come pick me up really late at night, always with a different car. He wouldn't take of his hat when he stepped into my house. And he was dumb. So they wrote him off immediately. My mother also thought he was too flashy.
He still hits me on AIM sometimes inviting me to come shopping at his boutique in Harlem. Or saying he has some free samples for my lil brother (he also created one of those ghetto fab Southpole-type fashion lines a while back). Yeah right. Money can't buy Lola dummy.

Merman
I already discussed him a little before. But now let me really get into his person.
Merman is one of those uptown fellas. Mix diddy and fifty cent, and you get merman. Very flashy. Very charming. Very persuasive. I got with him in HS because i wanted to make his friend (who i was talking to at the time) jealous. He was like the top dog in my school at the time, so it was a good plan. And it worked....but into the rabbit hole i fell. He is very materialistic, and loved to be the center of attention. I couldn't keep up. He's the guy you find in the VIP next to the famous guy. Fresh to death, loud as hell and a bag of trouble. A real hustler.

He was also A WHOLE LOT of DRAMA!
It is always non stop drama with him. But then again those uptown city slickers do love a good cup of attention grabbing drama.





These were my only serious fellas. I had a few little puppy lovers before them. These, however, are the ones that mattered enough for me to really remember.

Now i have my hub. My mother say i chose and chose until i chose one that is just like my father, and she's right. My hub is the carbon copy of my dad, which means he's an upstanding man...the anchor to my sailboat. We just work. But geeze i had to get through a lot of weird ones to find him.