Showing posts with label no thanks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label no thanks. Show all posts

Thursday, March 17, 2011

M'uh Fu#%in Monstas

I shoot the lights out
Hide til its bright out
Whoa,
just another lonely night
Are you willing to sacrifice your life?

hello. my name is lola and i'm a m'uh fuc*in monsta.

i've created a few too.

here's why...

im never. ever. satisfied.

im so sick of settling. im sick of thinking 80 20, or 50 50. i want full
hundred.

i want my complete equal. i dont want to win or lose.

i want to go pound for pound and tie every single time.


i dont want to jerk any one around. i dont want to bounce back and forth i dont want to settle.

i wont settle for another daddy, or another baby, i wont settle for a rolling stone, i wont settle with being your secret, i wont be okay with your attitude.

so call me a monster for not being happy.

because when lola's not happy no one's happy.

so there u go. this ring is only open to the boys in my weight
class.

i want this:




meet me here. im moving to this planet:


Friday, January 22, 2010

How Not To Wear Your Weave

beyonce-weird2

Weaves, wigs and extensions are all double edged swords. On one hand, they can help you to look unbelievable fly. On the other, they can make you look like you are wearing a bird's nest on your head. Please, ladies, avoid much ridicule and humiliation by taking a few necessary precautions before you venture into the realm of supplementary hair. Here are a few things for you to consider, before you let some hairdresser convince you that you look like the next Beyoncé.

1) Are your tracks showing? Ladies, this is a cardinal offense against the weave gods. Do not let your tracks show! Either cover them up or put on a hat, because exposed tracks just eliminate the purpose of the entire weave.

2) Don't opt for the cheap stuff! There is a wide array of hair available to you at every price point. However, DON"T use that as an excuse to buy the cheapest half-plastic-half-horse concoction out there. Spend the extra money to get (at least) something that sprouted from another human; and then if you can, go for the better quality human hair.

3) Keep it natural looking. I don't care what type of Polish-Chinese-Indian-Cherokee you claim to be mixed with. Nobody can grow 5 pounds of 24 inch hair. No one. Don't try to jam 5 packs of hair on to your head. It will make you look like a furry lollipop.

4) If you are going to do a lacefront, or any wig for that matter, don't let it eat your forehead. Try to get one with a realistic hairline that is not 2 centimeters above your eyebrows. And avoid gluing a wig to your forehead. That just doesn't even sound right.

5) Keep your edges tight. It makes no sense to have a super kinky mini afro around your hairline, and then 16 inches of perfectly straight glorious locks flowing out of the middle of your head. And while you're at it, make sure your edges are the same color as your extensions. Black roots have no business with a blond weave.

6) You can't treat a weave like its your real hair because, well, its a weave. Don't get your weave and then think its your hair so you don't have to be as meticulous as you would have been without the extensions. Wrap your hair at night. Comb it. Tie it. Love it. Don't be fooled! Your hair may look like your own, but its still a product that needs to be taken care of and maintained.

7) Fake it 'til you make it. A huge part of the weave-allure is the fact that when done correctly, it will blend in with your own hair. So work it like its growing right out of your own scalp. Fling it, make it bounce a little when you walk, style it up and be fab with it. Rock your weave so hard that no one will ever suspect that came from the store!

Check my gallery to see some celebs demonstrating how NOT to rock your weave HERE!!!

Kid Cudi + H&M Say "Real Men Wear Skirts"

hm

While I always encourage experimentation in fashion, men in skirts just doesn't quite do it for us. Maybe someone should let H&M and Kid Cudi know that.

First Cudi was spotted proudly wearing a kilt at a Miami New Years Eve performance. Normally we would write this off as an eccentric show of fashion experimentation. High fashion designers have been showing skirts in their menswear collections since the dawning of the runway. Entertainers are dabbling more than even in the "artistic" pretenses of high fashion looks (hello Lady Gaga), and we were fine with filing the rapper away in that neat little file.

Now, however, it seems that the man-skirt is set to infiltrate mainstream society in a big way.

According to Shine, H&M has added pleated skirts to its Spring 2010 menswear collection. Yes. Knee length, pleated, skirts. We vote no.

The entire line seems to have a feminine flair to it. According to Shine,
The spring 2010 look book for mass retailer H&M has some very surprising pieces for men. Like fringe jackets, tie-dye scarves, harem pants, and, um, skirts, to name a few. Sure Marc Jacobs himself can pull off a skirt, but can you picture even the most fashionably daring men you know seeking out and wearing a skirt from H&M?
So what do you think ladies; will you be buying your partner a skirt this Spring?

Take a look at the new line here and tell us what you think.